I met AB online. She’s about a year and a half younger than I am. She’s born and bred in Israel and from a half-Mashhadi, half-Libyan family. We had some distant friends in common and barely chatted at all before deciding to meet almost immediately for coffee.
The conversation on our first date went really well. I was pretty impressed with her appearance – very curvy, but fit, and with a dark, middle eastern complexion – I’d say 8.5. I brought the dog along as an icebreaker, but he wasn’t necessary. Saying goodnight was a little awkward since she’d driven a scooter to the cafe, so when I walked her to it, we were standing across it and I couldn’t lean in for a kiss or even a hug.
I called the next day, but she didn’t answer, so I texted to invite her out the following weekend. We made tentative plans, but then she got sick and we postponed for a few days. Our second date was for a late dinner at a local burger joint, a big test for her. I wanted to ascertain the following:
- Would she eat a heavy meat meal at all, or would she order a chicken sandwich or something some other lame option?
- Would she complain about it, claim she’s on a diet, and try to make me feel guilty for ruining her figure?
- How would she act toward me after consuming a serious hamburger at my insistence?
Great girl that she was, she passed the test on every level: she wiped her plate clean; she didn’t utter a word of complaint; she somehow managed to pay for her meal while I was distracted; and, bonus, she practically invited herself back to my apartment!
We walked back to my place to watch a television program about which I’d been telling her. After it, we kissed for a while – still both tasting like hamburger. After some light groping, she said she needed to get going. I walked her back to her scooter, still at the burger joint. We kissed goodnight.
The following weekend was her birthday, an awkward situation for me. What kind of birthday gift do you buy for a girl you’ve only kissed once? I settled on a small box of fine chocolate hearts and called the next night to invite her to brunch on the morning of her birthday. She wasn’t there, but we texted back and forth and she said she was tied up all weekend. On her birthday night, I texted her to wish her a happy birthday.
Then the following week, I called. Again, no answer. I texted to invite her out to dinner the following night. That evening, she sent me a message on the facebook saying that she was getting back together with her ex-boyfriend and telling me how wonderful I am and that any girl would be happy to be with me. Retch.
Lessons: I actually can’t think of any. I know it doesn’t seem like it from my account, but I played it pretty cool in this case. In the past, a wimpy version of me might have gotten whiny and tried to make a girl feel bad for not wanting to be taken out to brunch by me. But I didn’t express any such emotion. I do mostly believe that she got back with her boyfriend. I guess I can say that I at least appreciate being told. I don’t bother telling a girl my intentions if I’ve only been out with her on two dates.
Ok, here are 2 areas where you veered off course:
After some light groping, she said she needed to get going. I walked her back to her scooter, still at the burger joint. We kissed goodnight.
** whoa buddy .. whoa.. shit test failed sorry.. don’t throw in the towel that easily buddy..
for example, be leading to the bedroom , escalating .. she got control of the conversation.. even saying she has to go is a shit test .. ya gotta roll right over that.. eg. you could agree and then keep making out
The following weekend was her birthday, an awkward situation for me. What kind of birthday gift do you buy for a girl you’ve only kissed once? I settled on a small box of fine chocolate hearts and called the next night to invite her to brunch on the morning of her birthday.
** ok, don’t do that ever again .. flowers, chocolates no no ..you grab her and take her some place mysterious and exciting for example
@Oilsands I don’t think she meant it as a shit test when she said she had to go. She didn’t strike me as the type who does games like that. But I definitely agree that I should have treated it like a shit test, so I could pass it and move forward.
About the chocolates – yeah, they seem like a much dumber idea in retrospect. The good news about them is that I never actually gave them to her AB, and eventually gave them to a different girl who more than earned them.