There are black-skinned people in Israel, but they are Jews from Ethiopia or migrant workers from Nigeria or refugees from Sudan. Except the “Black Hebrews” there are obviously no black people here like there are in America.
Wherever black people go, they bring some awesome things. One of them is fried chicken. There is no decent fried chicken in Israel. Yes, we have chicken shnitzel, but that doesn’t count. Fried chicken is what I get at Popeye’s whenever I’m in America. It’s what I get in Harlem at Amy Ruth’s or some place like that. Black slaves invented fried chicken in the American South and gave it to the world as a gift.
Black men are said to have large penises, and consequently they can be credited as a group for the wide availability in America of large and extra large condoms. In Israel, it is fucking impossible to find large condoms. Why???????
Just a quick note: yes, I’m conspicuously larger than average in that area (in all other areas physically, I am average). No, there’s nothing positive about it, and I’d definitely become average sized if I could. All it has ever meant for me is that sex is more likely to be painful for the girl, and actually I once lost a good relationship over her inability to handle it, because she was small in that area. Moreover, oral sex is not as enjoyable for me. And even though the size is appealing to girls, it’s not like something that can be easily advertised, which neutralizes its ability to help. Also, it’s meant that I can never rely on a girl to buy condoms … so I have to do it myself … which is why I’ve now been to three sex shops looking for large or extra large condoms.
Nobody seems to carry them here! At the most recent place, the guy thought it was a joke, or that I wanted to buy them as a gag gift for a friend. No dude, this isn’t a joke. I am not laughing, I’m dead serious. Get your distributor on the phone and ask him what’s the biggest size he can get. He actually told me that there is no such thing as a “real” extra large condom! If necessary, I will go back there next week and bring him a Magnum XL wrapper so he can see for himself. Seriously!
Have you considered buying online? I do all my condom shopping on the Internet now because I can save money by buying in bulk.
I have considered it, but I can only receive packages at the office (the mail delivery in this country is a disgrace) and I’m concerned about maintaining discretion. The last thing I need is office rumors about the size of my genitalia because the items had to be declared on a customs form that’s attached to the package.
I’m very new to “game” and didn’t expect to use so many condoms in such a short time… next time I’m in America I will make sure to bring back enough supplies, but that won’t be for at least a couple months!
I do all my condom shopping on the Internet now because I can save money by buying in bulk.
This made me giggle.
Yes, he’s very witty.