There are black-skinned people in Israel, but they are Jews from Ethiopia or migrant workers from Nigeria or refugees from Sudan. Except the “Black Hebrews” there are obviously no black people here like there are in America.
Wherever black people go, they bring some awesome things. One of them is fried chicken. There is no decent fried chicken in Israel. Yes, we have chicken shnitzel, but that doesn’t count. Fried chicken is what I get at Popeye’s whenever I’m in America. It’s what I get in Harlem at Amy Ruth’s or some place like that. Black slaves invented fried chicken in the American South and gave it to the world as a gift.
Black men are said to have large penises, and consequently they can be credited as a group for the wide availability in America of large and extra large condoms. In Israel, it is fucking impossible to find large condoms. Why???????
Just a quick note: yes, I’m conspicuously larger than average in that area (in all other areas physically, I am average). No, there’s nothing positive about it, and I’d definitely become average sized if I could. All it has ever meant for me is that sex is more likely to be painful for the girl, and actually I once lost a good relationship over her inability to handle it, because she was small in that area. Moreover, oral sex is not as enjoyable for me. And even though the size is appealing to girls, it’s not like something that can be easily advertised, which neutralizes its ability to help. Also, it’s meant that I can never rely on a girl to buy condoms … so I have to do it myself … which is why I’ve now been to three sex shops looking for large or extra large condoms.
Nobody seems to carry them here! At the most recent place, the guy thought it was a joke, or that I wanted to buy them as a gag gift for a friend. No dude, this isn’t a joke. I am not laughing, I’m dead serious. Get your distributor on the phone and ask him what’s the biggest size he can get. He actually told me that there is no such thing as a “real” extra large condom! If necessary, I will go back there next week and bring him a Magnum XL wrapper so he can see for himself. Seriously!
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Have you considered buying online? I do all my condom shopping on the Internet now because I can save money by buying in bulk.
I have considered it, but I can only receive packages at the office (the mail delivery in this country is a disgrace) and I’m concerned about maintaining discretion. The last thing I need is office rumors about the size of my genitalia because the items had to be declared on a customs form that’s attached to the package.
I’m very new to “game” and didn’t expect to use so many condoms in such a short time… next time I’m in America I will make sure to bring back enough supplies, but that won’t be for at least a couple months!
I do all my condom shopping on the Internet now because I can save money by buying in bulk.
This made me giggle.
Yes, he’s very witty.
The average penis is 5.5 inches. On average, black men do have larger penises… but only 1/2 inch larger. Asian men on average have smaller penises… again, 1/2 inch. It’s interesting to note that the women in each ethnic group have (again, on average) corresponding vaginal lengths.
My husband needed an extra large condom too (when we still needed them) and I feel your pain with regard to oral sex- it’s not easy to provide skillful oral pleasure when it’s all you can do to stretch your mouth open wide enough. However, this is where having a foreskin is really a boon for him.. it gives us other options– especially some delightful manual ones. ;-)
I suspect the availability of extra large condoms is more about American sexual attitudes than giant black penises. lol
Please tell me that you didn’t browse this website looking for other places where I mentioned my penis.
To the left of this page there is a list of your recent posts. “Why I miss black people” is a very provocative title… I had no idea it was something ELSE about your penis. Do you generally post a lot about your penis?
I don’t think so, but I might do so more often.
In Canada, we get the benefits of cultural Americanization – e.g. hamburgers, fried chicken, Tex-Mex and Mexican food – with the added benefit of not having to have too many of the people who created them in the first place, within our borders (other than in our bigger cities). Apart from your condom issues, I can’t see any reason why you can’t have the same thing over there; maybe you should consider opening a Popeye’s franchise over there. (Don’t you at least have any KFCs, though?)
There are some KFCs in Israel, but they are nasty (and for some reason they sport a New York City decor). Israelis basically just don’t get fried chicken as a concept. There’s chicken schnitzel, and that’s great, but the idea of deep-frying an entire chicken, or parts of it, in batter, with the bones, is totally alien here.
I would love to open a Popeye’s, but the natives are going to come in and ask, Where’s the hummus? And if I don’t offer it to them, the venture will fail.
Hi dere, i lived in Israel for 11 years and loved the fact that there were no black people (to speak of). Fried chicken sucks, you obviously have shit for tastebuds. I wouldn’t go to america to visit even if I was paid, and I would seriously consider slittiing my wrists if it was the last place to live.Not many things sound shittier than an American accent (except Southren ) especially when mangling a foreign language.
Hi dere, i lived in Israel for 11 years and loved the fact that there were no black people (to speak of). Fried chicken sucks, you obviously have shit for tastebuds. I wouldn’t go to america to visit even if I was paid, and I would seriously consider slittiing my wrists if it was the last place to live.Not many things sound shittier than an American accent (except Southren ) especially when mangling a foreign language.
Wow, you sound like a total asshole. I can’t say I’m disappointed that you left Israel.
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